Quiet around here

I guess I just have been too lazy to post, that and busy! Nothing really exciting going on, studying, studying, and then studying some more. I have been feeling sick this week, blah.

Randomness for the day...

Happy thought of the day: I made a yummy soup for dinner last night, and corn bread to go with it. It was SO stinkin good!

Fun-ness of the day: Going to a scrap store today, havent been to one since, geez, like October!!! I hate being broke!!

Sad thought of the day: I still cannot stop thinking about this girl that was on Oprah yesterday. She had been on the show before, and this was a follow up. The story was that there was this woman who was dying of cancer, and she had a young daughter at the time, and she knew she was going to die, so what she did was make hundreds of video tapes for her daughter, of just one on one filming of her talking to her daughter about "motherly" type stuff (boys, periods, etc) because she knew she wouldnt be there when he daughter needed advice on those things, and she knew her husband would have a hard time with it. The mother died when her daughter was only 6, and so now she has all these videos with memories of her mom, and it was just the most special thing I have ever seen, gosh I cried so hard. The saddest video was where the mom said she would be looking down on them to find another soul for daddy to spend the rest of his life with so he wasnt alone, and that she gave her blessing, and she would make sure to find someone perfect, and that it was ok if she called her mom. Talk about a tear jerker! The girl was 13 when she came on the show this time, and it was just so sad, I could not imagine not having a mother at 13. I think it was right around that age I started "hating" my mom, yikes the teenage years were tough around here, I'm so glad to be older and closer with my mom. That show yesterday just made me value my mom so much, I dont know what I would do without her!

Just another day...

In paradise. lol not really but a girl can dream, right? Had an exam today and am anxiously awaiting the results...it was a MATH exam, and we have to get at least a 90% to pass it or else we are unable to give medications to our patients at the hospital, which means we lose points every day until we can pass it. If we dont pass on the third time, we get the boot from the program alltogether. BOOOOO. I will know by 7 tonight, I am crossing my fingers I passed!

Randomness for the day...

Happy thought of the day: I love nursing school. I really really do. As much work as I have to put into it, it really is a lot of fun. I have made a couple of great friendships with some girls I know I will keep in touch with long after nursing school is over, we just click. And on top of that we laugh together all the time, which is a great thing.

What I'm looking forward to today: watching american idol with Michael. We love watching that show together for some reason, and its two hours tonight!!

Got this from a friend and thought it was fun....

I AM: in nursing school
I WANT: to be done with nursing school
I HAVE: the best boyfriend in the world
I WISH: that I was with him right now
I HATE: the lady in my clinical
I MISS: Michael
I FEAR: being diagnosed with a terminal disease
I HEAR: a plane flying
I SEARCH: google sometimes?
I WONDER: when I will be engaged
I LOVE: Michael Fazio
I ACHE: in my tooth (wisdom teeth coming in)
I ALWAYS: try to be nice to everyone
I AM NOT: fake
I DANCE: to some good booty shakin music
I SING: really loud in my car
I CRY: when I am sad
I WRITE: a lot when I am in class
I WIN: speed every time I play with Michael
I LOOSE: weight before my cruise (I hope anyway)
I CONFUSE: uuhh...?
I NEED: money
I SHOULD: be doing my clinical stuff right now
MY PARENTS: are the best parents in the world
THREE THINGS YOU ARE OFTEN COMPLIMENTED FOR: my eyelashes, my legs, and my hair
MAKES YOU HAPPY: being with people that I love
UPSETS YOU: being with people that I dislike
Yes or no...
YOU KEEP A JOURNAL: does a blog count?
YOU LIKE TO COOK: love to cook
YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: I'm sure I do
YOU SET YOUR WATCH A FEW MINUTES AHEAD: yes, but I know its ahead so it does me no good
YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: yes of course
THE WEIRDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: probably my cousin Kevin
THE LOUDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: hhmmm....my SISTER
THE SEXIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: hhmm, no clue
YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS: Sara, Angie, Erin, Michelle, and now Katie and Jess (nursing school)
THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: My sister and Michael
MOST BORING TEACHER: 4th grade Mr. Near
FAVORITE TEACHER: Mr. Very
What is...
YOUR MOST OVERUSED PHRASE ON IM: "lol"
THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: usually Michael
YOUR BEST FEATURE: I am very patient
Do You...
TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY: yes
HAVE A (ANY) CRUSH (ES): Ace on american idol
THINK YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN LOVE: I am in love
WANT TO GET MARRIED: more than anything in this world
THINK YOU'RE A HEALTH FREAK: no not really, I am health concious but not a freak about it
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: yes
SIGN: Libra
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: Blonde
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: a dark brown with some red
EYE COLOR: blue
BIRTHPLACE: Santa Barbara
CURRENT RESIDENCE: Simi Valley
Family...
PARENTS: Mom and dad
SIBLINGS: Beana
LIVE WITH: parents half the time and Michael the other half
FAVORITE RELATIVE: probably my aunt baby or my cousin christine
Favorites...
NUMBER: 16
COLOR: PINK
DAY: Sunday
MONTH: February
FOOD: Cereal
SEASON: summer
SPORT: basketball
DRINK: AMF's
In the last 24 hours have you...
CRIED: no
HELPED SOMEONE: yes I helped a lady get a parking pass today
BOUGHT SOMETHING: lunch
GOTTEN SICK: no
GONE TO THE MOVIES: no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER: no
SAID "I LOVE YOU": yep to michael and my family
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: nope
TALKED TO AN EX: nope
MISSED AN EX: nope
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL: blogged yes
HAD A SERIOUS TALK: yes
MISSED SOMEONE: yes
HUGGED SOMEONE: yes
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS: no
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND: no
NAME 5 BANDS YOU LISTEN TO: I couldnt even tell you...
NAME 4 THINGS YOU DISLIKE: italian food, bad drivers, when my pen runs out of ink mid-sentance, and bad breath
would you ever....
EAT A BUG? no
BUNGEE JUMP? yes
HANG GLIDE? yes
KILL SOMEONE? no way
KISS SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX? I have before if that counts
HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX? dont think so
GO OUT WITH SOMEONE FOR THEIR LOOKS? im done with dating but if i was no, its whats on the inside that counts
GO OUT WITH SOMEONE FOR THEIR REPUTATION? no
BE A VEGETARIAN? nope
GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS? I have too many times
STAR IN A PORN VIDEO? no
NOT WEAR MAKEUP IN PUBLIC? i never wear makeup to school
MAKE SOMEONE CRY? I am sure i have but not on purpose
DATE SOMEONE MORE THAN TEN YEARS OLDER THAN YOU? I have before but i wouldnt now
STAY UP ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT? yes
DRINK STRAIGHT ESPRESSO? no thanks

{First Day of Spring}

I LOVE Spring!! I love everything about it, especially the weather. Today is the first day of spring, and its supposed to rain tomorrow!! BOOOO!

Had a fabulous weekend with my family and Michael, went to 2 birthday partys, my aunts 50th and my cousins 3rd "princess party" both were awesome and it was great to have some time with my family and not think about school for once. Today its back to the swing of things, school, the gym, studying, etc....ick.

Randomness for the day:

Something I am happy about today: its monday, I love mondays. They have such a "fresh" feel to them, start of a new week, another chance to start doing what you said you would do last monday!

Something I am unhappy about today: I have a test tomorrow...a MATH test to make it even worse. I am crossing my fingers I do ok.

Something I am thankful for today: My family. As crazy as they all can be sometimes, and as much as they can drive me crazy, I wouldnt ask for another family anyday. They are all special to me in their own way, and I cherish each and every one of them (and there are alot)

Happy St. Pattys Day!!

I think green is an appropriate color for today! I have never been big on St. Pattys day, I hate corned beef and cabbage!!!!! Just the smell of it makes me sick! In honor of today, heres 5 green things that I enjoy

1. Mint and chip ice cream
2. My green workout pants
3. Shamrock shakes from McDonalds
4. The grass when it has just been cute
5. Green tea

I have come to the conclusion that my blog is incredibly boring and that I need to spice it up a bit every day. So here is some randomness for the day. (thanks to some friends blogs who have inspired me).

Yummy thing of the day: My mom went to Farmers Market last night after work and brought me home a bag of one of my very favorite things, fresh kettle corn. I had it for both breakfast and lunch today, and it makes my tummy happy

Happy thought of the day: I have a great life. sometimes I wish it was different, but all in all, I am very blessed to have the life that I have, and have the people in it that I do. I really couldnt ask for anything more.

Irritating thing of the day: its raining. I hate rain, especially when I am having a good hair day, because the second I walk outside, its all over, my hair starts to frizz and curl and the rest of the day is ruined.

Something to look forward to today: The tanning salon and the gym. As soon as I get my butt in gear I am off to tan and then to work out, that makes me happy. Even though I really want to just crawl into bed and never get out, I think I will make today a productive day!

What I know I will not get done today: cleaning my room. I still have not unpacked my clothes from Arizona, and that was over 2 weeks ago! I have a horrible, terrible habbit of unpacking! I have just been busy with school, and when I am not at school I feel like I am at the gym, or Michaels, or work, or wherever...it just never seems to get done. The pile just keeps getting bigger, and pretty soon it may just take over my room.

{Happy St. Pattys Day}

Blog Challenge

Got this one off Toni's blog.....

List 10 things you recommend

1. Flat irons, I would die without mine
2. Take time for yourself every day, even if its just 20 minutes
3. RED ROBIN
4. Making sure to tell your family that you love them, every single day
5. Finding a career that you enjoy, my grandfather once told me that if you do something that you love you will never work a day in your life
6. Vanilla cones from McDonalds
7. Listening to a child laugh, it is the best sound in the world
8. New York, if you havent been, go!
9. Patience
10. Find a hobby that you love (like SCRAPBOOKING!)

Gee you would never know I was thinking about food with the Red Robin and the ice cream, lol.

Today is my off day from school and work, yay!!! The last 2 days in school were long days, we learned all about how to give medications (oral meds, rectal meds, vaginal meds), and we learned how to give injections (Intramuscular, subcutaneous, and intradermal, oh and insulin). It was really interesting, but makes me really nervous to actually have to poke someone with a real needle!! (we used real needles in class but we practice on oranges and hot dogs, not the same as a person!). I think I am going to write my letters for scholarships today, the deadline is march 30th and I havent done much of anything (except ask 2 people for letters of recommendation). I hope I get them, it would help me out so much. 2 of them are for $1000...that would be SO nice!!!! I saved my tax return for the cruise in May, but its only $400! I have no idea if that is enough money...Michaels mom said to bring $100 for each day...its a 7 day cruise!! that makes me $300 short...so if anyone reading this needs a babysitter, I'm your girl! call me! lol. Date night, work, scrapping, partys, whatever, I will do it.

I thought I would post this cruise picture since it is the ship we are going on, and it kinda sets the mood for me to get ready for the cruise (I have been working on my tan AND my waisteline, I am very proud of myself!). I am SO excited, I have never been on a cruise before so I have no clue what to expect. I think I am going to play the lotto til then in hopes of being able to buy some cute clothes, I havent bought clothes in ages. I am secretly crossing my fingers that maybe Michael is going to ask me to marry him on our cruise...it is a nice place, and a special time for us, but then again its kinda scary to bring something like that with you to another country.

Holy Jeezo

Ok so I dont know HOW on earth I pulled this one off...but I got a 97% on my final exam!!! I was SO stinkin happy you have no idea! That gave me a 93% overall in the lecture part of the first quarter, and in the clinical/hospital part I got a 96%...I am so proud of myself right now!!!!! It is such a great feeling to know that something I have worked so hard for is working out so well for me, I feel like this is totally my calling in life (not being a good student, but nursing in general), and I love every part of nursing school (even though I know I complain about the studying sometimes). I love the instructors because I am able to learn so much from them, I enjoy my classmates (most of them), but most of all I really love the patients. I love knowing that for the 8 hours I am there, that one patient gets my undivided attention. Hospitals are so busy and understaffed that nurses barely have time to give patients their medication much less have any pleasurable conversation with them, and it just makes me feel so good right now as a student to maybe brighten someones day a little bit when I am there, or put a smile on their face. Anyways, ok this is going to sound really stupid of me, but for some reason I cant press the space bar to seperate my paragraphs on this blog...does anyone know WHY?? its so weird! I promise I dont always run everything into one paragraph, but it wont let me space it out! I am blog-illiterate I suppose. On a different note, my Michael got a position as the lead server at the claim jumper in thousand oaks, he was SO happy and I am so happy for him. It just means more money, better tables, better shifts, he now trains new employees, and I think it has just boosted his confidence a lot and he is feeling a lot better. He wants to eventually move up into managment, so this is the perfect step for him, especially since the restaraunt is so new. Thats all for now, I will post more when I can figure out how to space this thing!!!

Its been a while...

Gosh, every day I swear that I am going to post, and I keep forgetting!!! Life has just been crazy...ever since I started nursing school it feels like my life has just been turned upside down...NOTHING is the same as it used to be. It is a welcomed change, but I am not so sure if I like it (yet). I have my first final exam on monday, and I have not studied one bit!!! I feel horrible, but I just cant get into it! Michael has been so patient and understanding the last couple months, I am so suprised. He is always encouraging me to study and he is always rewarding me with cute little things for getting good grades. So far my grades have been excellent, and I am so proud of that. I have a 96%!!! That is a HUGE shocker for me considering this teacher that I have is supposed to be the worst! I really have enjoyed having her though, she challenges her students more so than any other instructor and I feel like I have learned a lot from her. Nothing else exciting going on, I am just getting excited for our cruise (May 20th), and for the SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!! Off to study my cranial nerves!

Oh I wish...

Havent blogged in a while, just been busy with school. School has just been insane....I had no idea what to expect until I actually started nursing school, it is just so much work sometimes it unbelievable, and IMPOSSIBLE!!! I feel like I dont have much of a life...which is a major adjustment and a total bummer sometimes, but its only for 2 years! Thats what I keep telling myself. Took another exam this week and got an 87%, pretty good considering the average was 74! On a side note...this is the ring I have been wishing for forEVER it seems!!! isnt it beautiful??

I passed!!

Ok so 40% of the class FAILED the first exam, wtf?!?! I PASSED thank the good Lord in heavens! I got an 89%, woo!!!!! Have another exam already in less than a week which I am totally stressed out about, I am praying that I do alright. I am just feeling so overwhelmed (still). I think I am just going to feel like this for the next 2 years of my life! Cant wait for this weekend, going to an all day crop with the Foxies @ memories! Thats all for now, off to study

First Exam

So my first nursing exam is tomorrow, I am SO nervous. I feel like i have spent hours studying, and that I dont even have a basic understanding of any of it. It is so frustrating because I have this instructor that is never "exact" on anything, any questions we ask her she is so vague about, and I HATE that!!! I just want someone to write out for me what to study, and I will study it! We have like 300 pages that are ALL "fair game" for the exam, plus lecture notes, and video notes, its crazy! It just seems impossible to do, but I guess I just have to do my best and if that only gets me a C, I am fine with that. I just need to get above a 75% to be ok. (although a B or an A would be awesome).

So yesterday, gosh yesterday was an emotional day. My sister is moving out of the house this weekend, to go live with my cousin. They are starting school together on Tuesday, which is great, I would rather her move away and do something with her life than stay here and do nothing, but I am still very sad. My sister has been here for the last 18 years, I dont know what my life is like without her. Granted she hasnt been 100% the same in the last few months, thats just part of "growing up" and I have accepted that, but to see her pack up her things just breaks my heart. Its going to be so weird (and quiet) around here without her. I am getting sad just thinking about it.

back to studying, ugh.

Owww pt. 2

My tailbone is STILL killing me!! I swear it hurts worse as time goes by. If it isnt better by saturday, I am going to ask my work to take an x-ray to make sure nothing is wrong with it (I work at a hospital). Its SO uncomfortable to sleep, I cant lay on my back, so I am constantly tossing and turning and getting no sleep! I think I am going to load up on nyquil tonight just so I can get a decent nights sleep. ugh.

I havent been to the gym since I did this (its only been 2 days but it feels like forever), and I feel FAT. I hate that feeling. I have never had a perfect diet, so working out hard at the gym are really my key to losing weight, so when I cant work out and eat like I normally eat, I feel like a fatty.

I really want to see nany mcfee. I think I might be going witih Michelle and her daughter madison next week, if not I will probably drag Michael. It just looks too cute to pass up.

Nothing else really exciting going on, except that this weekend my friend Angie can have visitors. She has a long history of drug abuse, and had a baby almost 4 month ago. She was lucky enough to find this place in Pacoima that houses women with no where else to go that are pregnant or single mothers, so she has been there since she was about 3 months. I guess her drug issues tore our friendship apart, but prior to that, we were like sisters. We spent every day together, and I missed her so much. So, I was thrilled to have her back in my life once the drugs were out of the picture, and now I am just trying to be the best friend I can be and be there to support her while she is in this home. The sucky part is that she hasnt been able to have visitors since the begining of December, they were on some "lock down" because some people were abusing the priviledges that the program provides. So I cant wait to see her. Hopefully she will be getting out in the next couple of months and doing something for the good of her and her babys future.

anyways, off to study, big exam on monday that I am STRESSED about!!!!!

Omg oww

Ok so I have no clue how in the hell this happene,d but somehow I fell FLAT on my A$$ tonight. I was walking into the kitchen, and was going to kick my sisters best friend in the butt because he was in my way, and my other foot just slipped out from under me and I landed right on my tailbone. Omg, OUCH!! I thought I broke my back when it happened, like seriously, I didnt move for 5 minutes. how dumb can I be?!?!!? and to make things worse, I am supposed to be at the hospital for clinicals tomorrow, taking care of a patient! I left my instructor a message and just asked what I should do, and she never called me back (thanks a lot). So I have no clue, I guess I am just going to go and give it my best shot. If worse comes to worse, I can just try to make it up on another day. We'll see.

Off to lay down, its killing me to sit right now, and I even have one of the donut pillows!!

:o(

Long week

Man, this week has been stressful. I am still trying to get into the "swing of things" with nursing school, but I am starting to feel like its going to be this paniced stressful feeling throughout the entire two years, although I am praying its not! I feel so overwhelmed, like I know I have so many things I need to do and read, but like I dont know where to start! Michael was so sweet, we had our time together tonight and when it was time to go home and I was pouting that I wanted to stay with him, he gave me his little "pep talk" that he was so proud of me, and that all this will be worth it in the end. I know he is right, and I am so more than thankful for him, but its just hard to go from my old life to this, and the sad part is that this stuff we are doing now is "easy" to all the stuff ahead of me. aye yiye yiye.

On a side not, Michael flat out asked me what size ring I wear!!!! I was a little upset, because of course it got my hopes up and for Christs sake, he could have found a slicker way to ask than that!!!! He knows my mom, my sister, my best friend, he could have had HIS mom ask me, his room mate, anyone, but why did he ask ME?! grr. I know that means its coming, but I already assumed that before he asked, and was kinda excited to be a little more suprised. Oh well, I cant wait, no matter when it is, I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with him.

My first patient was awesome this week, but she went home TWO HOURS after I got there. So I didnt have much to do all day and was kinda bored. I hope my patient this week is sicker and has more fun stuff to learn about (sounds gross I know, but I want patients with weird conditions and diseases).

I am beat, I have been sick the last few days, cough, sore throat, sneezes, aches, etc....I just hope this next week goes by FAST!!!

Thats all for now

My first patient

So today I get my very FIRST patient. This is one of many I am sure I will take care of through nursing school and through my career, but its a pretty exciting thing. Yesterday, after lab, we went to the hospital to get assigned our patients and get report on them. All I really know is that my patient is an 81 year old female, whose chief complaint upon arrival in the TCU is weakness in her lower extremities. Her medical diagnosis is general weakness, dehydration, and a functional decline. So nothing really life threatening, just basically what happens to a lot of people as they get older. I have an assignment today to do an questionere on her, so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully she is willing to participate. Im so excited, I think my favorite part of nursing school is going to be my patients.

Off to study!

Daydreaming

So today I had the day off school (MLK day), it was so nice to just hang and relax with Michael. We had breakfast AND lunch together, which is rare for us! We are sometimes lucky to eat one meal together. Me and his room mate chatted a lot about their wedding, which gave me the wedding bug that I get sometimes. I have my eye on this dress (or something very similar to it anyway). A girl can dream, right?

off to the gym...

Ok, so I got tagged from TONI to fill out this survey. Too bad I am blog-tarded and dont know how to list other people to tag!

Four jobs you have had in your life:

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. drop dead fred
2. big business
3. troop beverly hills
4. mac & me

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. A Wedding Story
3. Trauma: Life in the E.R.
4. Extreme home make over

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Mexico
2. New York
3. Arizona
4. Las Vegas

Four websites you visit daily:
1. Foxy Croppers
2. My Space
3. My bank account (hoping for an accidental deposit for thousands of dollars)
4. 2peas

Four of your favorite foods:
1. Chicken Tortilla Soup
2. Cereal
3. Toast with peanut butter
4. French toast

Four places you would rather be right now:
1. With Michael :o)
2. In Arizona with Michaels parents
3. The Carribean (FOUR months!)
4. In my bed snuggled up with blankies

Four bloggers you are tagging:
1. I
2. Wish
3. I
4. Knew 4 bloggers

I've lost 7 pounds

yay! That is a pretty big accomplishment for me, seeing that I have been SO stressed out with nursing school stuff. I think most of it was just my body getting rid of all the junk I ate over the holidays, which is a good thing, because I am feeling so much better. I have IBS, and you would think I would have learned my lesson from all of the horrible stomach aches and trips to the Dr, but no, I still eat things that irritate it, so when I am eating better, my stomach thanks me, big time!!! Water also helps me with it, I just need to remember to drink more of it. This morning I went to spin class, omg it kicked my a$$!!! its such a great work out in a short amount of time though, I love it!

I have been really really concerned about my boyfriend lately...he really really needs to lose some weight. His dad was a diabetic, so he is pre-disposed to it already, and he eats like CRAP!!! He is a big candy eater, and probably eats about 500 calories in candy alone, every day!! I feel bad, because I dont want him to feel like I am wanting him to lose weight for superficial reasons, but I am honestly concerned about his health and well being. I know he is unhappy being overweight, but I think that hes just comfortable like that. He joined the gym with me last year, but never went, so I told him to cancel it rather than keeping it just because he feels bad, it was a waste of money. We are going on a cruise in May, so maybe that can be incentive for him to get moving and stop eating so much candy. I am just worried about his long term health, I want him to be around for our kids and most importantly, for ME!

So I made it!!!! I survived the first week of nursing school, and I am still alive! I feel really really overwhelmed, and keep questioning wether I am in the right place or not, but I know that once I fall into the routine, with studying and everything, that I will be fine. Today was a NERVE WRACKING day though, omg. We had to demonstrate our skills in front of our clinical instructor, and with a passing grade or we couldnt move on to do clinicals in the hospital. I had to do:
handwashing
isolation equipment
transfering a patient from bed to wheelchair
blood pressure
pulse
respirations
making an occupied bed

as simple as they sound, its SO scary to have the teacher watching your every move. I made it though, and actually got some good comments from her, so I was happy. Everyone in the nursing program has told me that this instructor is SO tough (Shara), but I picked her for my clinicals anyways because I know I will have to deal with her at some point, so its better now so I can get it over with. I think she is VERY nice, but that could change once we actually get into the hospital. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not there for her, I am there so I can get my degree, and that I just have to get through her to get there.

We actually have 5 days off, which is really nice. Monday is MLK day, so no class. I am going to read ahead as much as possible, so that I can feel more prepared when I am in class and understand what they are talking about more. They dont even like "ease" you into this program, I swear its like sink or swim. Its a little intimidating, but I know I just need to throw myself out there and be the best I can be, or I wont make it. I am going to be as involved as possible when we have labs and clinical, lets hope that approach works for me.

There is one lady in my clinical class that just makes me CRAZY....and I am stuck with her for the next EIGHT weeks. Doesnt sound like long, but it feels like it now.

I was pretty much UN focused on my workouts and eating this week...probably because I havent fallen into a "schedule" yet, so its been hard, but next week I am going to try my best to make time for me, and to avoid eating out as much as possible and bring my lunch when I can. I need to remember to bring snacks for the day so I dont eat a ton at dinner, and I need to bring WATER to drink in class.

thats all for now, back to studying!

Today is the big day...

and I cant sleep a wink. Its windy outside, all the dogs in the neighborhood are barking up a storm, I keep trying to make sure I did everything I was supposed to do before school tomorrow (or now its today I guess since its passed midnight), and I just have all these feelings running through my mind. I was driving home from Michaels tonight, and he was so sweet, he was hugging me goodbye and he just had the sweetest tone in his voice and look in his eye, and he just said "I am SO proud of you baby" awww. So on my way home...I just kinda realized that sometimes I dont give myself enough credit, I know we are our own worst critics, but I think I need to give myself a little more credit than I do. So here is my go at why "I" am proud of me.

Things I have accomplished since high school:
-losing 50+ pounds and keeping it off
-holding down a job since I was 15 and a half
-graduating high school with a 3.8 GPA
-never having ANY debt
-paying my credit card off, in full, every month
-never driving my car after drinking
-never letting the influences of my friends change my goals in life (i'll explain more later)
-getting my pharmacy technician license
-getting my CNA license
-saving $7,500 to pay for cosmetic surgery
-finding someone that I can spend the rest of my life with who wants to spend the rest of their life with me too (that ones my favorite)

I was thinking of myself in high school compared to now. In high school, my friends were my entire life. I had a big, close knit group of friends (who of course gossiped like crazy about eachother, but thats what teenage girls do I guess) and I really dont talk to very many of them anymore. I was always the friend that everyone could call because I always listened, and never had really any drama of my own (growing up as the fat kid you really dont get asked out on too many dates). I guess I was kinda the ugly duckling of the group, and I remember always being SO jealous of them all, because they had the cutest clothes, or all the guys wanted them. Now that I think about it, I wasted way too much time being jealous in comparison to what my life is now. I am not trying to say I am better than anybody, I know that sometimes people make bad choices that can put them in places in their life they never intended to be, but I am just thankful, that even though all of these "friends" made these poor decisions, I never followed in their footsteps, which amazes me because I looked up to all of them all throughout school.

Its almost 1...school starts tomorrow, I need to attempt to get some sleep.

Thats all for now

So sad

I am typing in blue today, because I am just feeling blue. I cannot stop thinking about this 16 year old girl that died this week. She was in a car accident in Long Beach, on a day that it was pouring rain. Apparently she ran a red light, and couldnt slow down when she was going around a sharp curve, so she drove off the road, into the LA river, which was 7 feet deep with muddy water from the 3 inches of rain we had in two days, her car (which was an suv) fell into the river upside down, and the roof was crushed so badly that none of the doors were able to open. People who whitnessed the accident drove off the side of the road to try to get her out, but she was trapped. Eventually her car filled up with water, and she drowned. Sorry to be graphic, but thats what happened. The ironic thing of it, is that this girl went to the same school as my cousins, and they know her pretty well. Her funeral is today, that is why I am talking about it. It is just so sad that someone so young was taken from this world. I know that God does everything for a reason, but this is just one of the things that I am having a hard time coming to grips with. I just cant help but think, what if that was my sister, or what if it was me? Its just so sad how quickly and unexpectedly life can be taken from us.

On a lighter note, I have lost 5 pounds, yay! I think it must be all of that holiday food just finally out of my system, thank the Lord, because I am not about to go on our cruise in May looking like a cow. We are going on a 7 day cruise to the Carribean. First stop, Montego Bay, Jamaica, next up, Cayman Islands, Grand Cayman Island, and last is Cozumel, Mexico. I cant wait. Michaels mother was so SO generous to buy us both tickets last year, we are all going together, me, michael, his mom, his step dad, and his sister Nicole. We are SO excited!!! It will be such a nice vacation for me after my first semester of nursing school.

speaking of nursing school, monday is the big day! I am really excited, anxious, nervous, all in one. I e mailed my girlfriend Jill about how i was feeling about it (she just finished her first semester in the same nursing program), and she sent me this sweet e mail. I just love her! It was after we met up for Coffee so she could give me some "pointers" :o)


Hey Alex,You are so cute!! I have to tell you when I went home after coffee and was talking to my husband, I told him how impressed I was with you. Alex, you will be one of the best students in your class. I know what a hard worker you are and you are going to just excel in this program.

That was SO sweet and encouraging, it made me feel so much better. Especially since she is like a straight A student! I have so much reading to do, over 100 pages, to be read by monday. I am not working today like I normally would be, so I better get to studying!

Thats all for now