So my first nursing exam is tomorrow, I am SO nervous. I feel like i have spent hours studying, and that I dont even have a basic understanding of any of it. It is so frustrating because I have this instructor that is never "exact" on anything, any questions we ask her she is so vague about, and I HATE that!!! I just want someone to write out for me what to study, and I will study it! We have like 300 pages that are ALL "fair game" for the exam, plus lecture notes, and video notes, its crazy! It just seems impossible to do, but I guess I just have to do my best and if that only gets me a C, I am fine with that. I just need to get above a 75% to be ok. (although a B or an A would be awesome).
So yesterday, gosh yesterday was an emotional day. My sister is moving out of the house this weekend, to go live with my cousin. They are starting school together on Tuesday, which is great, I would rather her move away and do something with her life than stay here and do nothing, but I am still very sad. My sister has been here for the last 18 years, I dont know what my life is like without her. Granted she hasnt been 100% the same in the last few months, thats just part of "growing up" and I have accepted that, but to see her pack up her things just breaks my heart. Its going to be so weird (and quiet) around here without her. I am getting sad just thinking about it.
back to studying, ugh.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Owww pt. 2
My tailbone is STILL killing me!! I swear it hurts worse as time goes by. If it isnt better by saturday, I am going to ask my work to take an x-ray to make sure nothing is wrong with it (I work at a hospital). Its SO uncomfortable to sleep, I cant lay on my back, so I am constantly tossing and turning and getting no sleep! I think I am going to load up on nyquil tonight just so I can get a decent nights sleep. ugh.
I havent been to the gym since I did this (its only been 2 days but it feels like forever), and I feel FAT. I hate that feeling. I have never had a perfect diet, so working out hard at the gym are really my key to losing weight, so when I cant work out and eat like I normally eat, I feel like a fatty.
I really want to see nany mcfee. I think I might be going witih Michelle and her daughter madison next week, if not I will probably drag Michael. It just looks too cute to pass up.
Nothing else really exciting going on, except that this weekend my friend Angie can have visitors. She has a long history of drug abuse, and had a baby almost 4 month ago. She was lucky enough to find this place in Pacoima that houses women with no where else to go that are pregnant or single mothers, so she has been there since she was about 3 months. I guess her drug issues tore our friendship apart, but prior to that, we were like sisters. We spent every day together, and I missed her so much. So, I was thrilled to have her back in my life once the drugs were out of the picture, and now I am just trying to be the best friend I can be and be there to support her while she is in this home. The sucky part is that she hasnt been able to have visitors since the begining of December, they were on some "lock down" because some people were abusing the priviledges that the program provides. So I cant wait to see her. Hopefully she will be getting out in the next couple of months and doing something for the good of her and her babys future.
anyways, off to study, big exam on monday that I am STRESSED about!!!!!
I havent been to the gym since I did this (its only been 2 days but it feels like forever), and I feel FAT. I hate that feeling. I have never had a perfect diet, so working out hard at the gym are really my key to losing weight, so when I cant work out and eat like I normally eat, I feel like a fatty.
I really want to see nany mcfee. I think I might be going witih Michelle and her daughter madison next week, if not I will probably drag Michael. It just looks too cute to pass up.
Nothing else really exciting going on, except that this weekend my friend Angie can have visitors. She has a long history of drug abuse, and had a baby almost 4 month ago. She was lucky enough to find this place in Pacoima that houses women with no where else to go that are pregnant or single mothers, so she has been there since she was about 3 months. I guess her drug issues tore our friendship apart, but prior to that, we were like sisters. We spent every day together, and I missed her so much. So, I was thrilled to have her back in my life once the drugs were out of the picture, and now I am just trying to be the best friend I can be and be there to support her while she is in this home. The sucky part is that she hasnt been able to have visitors since the begining of December, they were on some "lock down" because some people were abusing the priviledges that the program provides. So I cant wait to see her. Hopefully she will be getting out in the next couple of months and doing something for the good of her and her babys future.
anyways, off to study, big exam on monday that I am STRESSED about!!!!!
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Omg oww
Ok so I have no clue how in the hell this happene,d but somehow I fell FLAT on my A$$ tonight. I was walking into the kitchen, and was going to kick my sisters best friend in the butt because he was in my way, and my other foot just slipped out from under me and I landed right on my tailbone. Omg, OUCH!! I thought I broke my back when it happened, like seriously, I didnt move for 5 minutes. how dumb can I be?!?!!? and to make things worse, I am supposed to be at the hospital for clinicals tomorrow, taking care of a patient! I left my instructor a message and just asked what I should do, and she never called me back (thanks a lot). So I have no clue, I guess I am just going to go and give it my best shot. If worse comes to worse, I can just try to make it up on another day. We'll see.
Off to lay down, its killing me to sit right now, and I even have one of the donut pillows!!
:o(
Off to lay down, its killing me to sit right now, and I even have one of the donut pillows!!
:o(
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Long week
Man, this week has been stressful. I am still trying to get into the "swing of things" with nursing school, but I am starting to feel like its going to be this paniced stressful feeling throughout the entire two years, although I am praying its not! I feel so overwhelmed, like I know I have so many things I need to do and read, but like I dont know where to start! Michael was so sweet, we had our time together tonight and when it was time to go home and I was pouting that I wanted to stay with him, he gave me his little "pep talk" that he was so proud of me, and that all this will be worth it in the end. I know he is right, and I am so more than thankful for him, but its just hard to go from my old life to this, and the sad part is that this stuff we are doing now is "easy" to all the stuff ahead of me. aye yiye yiye.
On a side not, Michael flat out asked me what size ring I wear!!!! I was a little upset, because of course it got my hopes up and for Christs sake, he could have found a slicker way to ask than that!!!! He knows my mom, my sister, my best friend, he could have had HIS mom ask me, his room mate, anyone, but why did he ask ME?! grr. I know that means its coming, but I already assumed that before he asked, and was kinda excited to be a little more suprised. Oh well, I cant wait, no matter when it is, I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with him.
My first patient was awesome this week, but she went home TWO HOURS after I got there. So I didnt have much to do all day and was kinda bored. I hope my patient this week is sicker and has more fun stuff to learn about (sounds gross I know, but I want patients with weird conditions and diseases).
I am beat, I have been sick the last few days, cough, sore throat, sneezes, aches, etc....I just hope this next week goes by FAST!!!
Thats all for now
On a side not, Michael flat out asked me what size ring I wear!!!! I was a little upset, because of course it got my hopes up and for Christs sake, he could have found a slicker way to ask than that!!!! He knows my mom, my sister, my best friend, he could have had HIS mom ask me, his room mate, anyone, but why did he ask ME?! grr. I know that means its coming, but I already assumed that before he asked, and was kinda excited to be a little more suprised. Oh well, I cant wait, no matter when it is, I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with him.
My first patient was awesome this week, but she went home TWO HOURS after I got there. So I didnt have much to do all day and was kinda bored. I hope my patient this week is sicker and has more fun stuff to learn about (sounds gross I know, but I want patients with weird conditions and diseases).
I am beat, I have been sick the last few days, cough, sore throat, sneezes, aches, etc....I just hope this next week goes by FAST!!!
Thats all for now
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
My first patient
So today I get my very FIRST patient. This is one of many I am sure I will take care of through nursing school and through my career, but its a pretty exciting thing. Yesterday, after lab, we went to the hospital to get assigned our patients and get report on them. All I really know is that my patient is an 81 year old female, whose chief complaint upon arrival in the TCU is weakness in her lower extremities. Her medical diagnosis is general weakness, dehydration, and a functional decline. So nothing really life threatening, just basically what happens to a lot of people as they get older. I have an assignment today to do an questionere on her, so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully she is willing to participate. Im so excited, I think my favorite part of nursing school is going to be my patients.
Off to study!
Off to study!
Monday, January 16, 2006
Daydreaming
So today I had the day off school (MLK day), it was so nice to just hang and relax with Michael. We had breakfast AND lunch together, which is rare for us! We are sometimes lucky to eat one meal together. Me and his room mate chatted a lot about their wedding, which gave me the wedding bug that I get sometimes. I have my eye on this dress (or something very similar to it anyway). A girl can dream, right?
off to the gym...
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Ok, so I got tagged from TONI to fill out this survey. Too bad I am blog-tarded and dont know how to list other people to tag!
Four jobs you have had in your life:
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. drop dead fred
2. big business
3. troop beverly hills
4. mac & me
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. A Wedding Story
3. Trauma: Life in the E.R.
4. Extreme home make over
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Mexico
2. New York
3. Arizona
4. Las Vegas
Four websites you visit daily:
1. Foxy Croppers
2. My Space
3. My bank account (hoping for an accidental deposit for thousands of dollars)
4. 2peas
Four of your favorite foods:
1. Chicken Tortilla Soup
2. Cereal
3. Toast with peanut butter
4. French toast
Four places you would rather be right now:
1. With Michael :o)
2. In Arizona with Michaels parents
3. The Carribean (FOUR months!)
4. In my bed snuggled up with blankies
Four bloggers you are tagging:
1. I
2. Wish
3. I
4. Knew 4 bloggers
Four jobs you have had in your life:
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. drop dead fred
2. big business
3. troop beverly hills
4. mac & me
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. A Wedding Story
3. Trauma: Life in the E.R.
4. Extreme home make over
Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Mexico
2. New York
3. Arizona
4. Las Vegas
Four websites you visit daily:
1. Foxy Croppers
2. My Space
3. My bank account (hoping for an accidental deposit for thousands of dollars)
4. 2peas
Four of your favorite foods:
1. Chicken Tortilla Soup
2. Cereal
3. Toast with peanut butter
4. French toast
Four places you would rather be right now:
1. With Michael :o)
2. In Arizona with Michaels parents
3. The Carribean (FOUR months!)
4. In my bed snuggled up with blankies
Four bloggers you are tagging:
1. I
2. Wish
3. I
4. Knew 4 bloggers
Friday, January 13, 2006
I've lost 7 pounds
yay! That is a pretty big accomplishment for me, seeing that I have been SO stressed out with nursing school stuff. I think most of it was just my body getting rid of all the junk I ate over the holidays, which is a good thing, because I am feeling so much better. I have IBS, and you would think I would have learned my lesson from all of the horrible stomach aches and trips to the Dr, but no, I still eat things that irritate it, so when I am eating better, my stomach thanks me, big time!!! Water also helps me with it, I just need to remember to drink more of it. This morning I went to spin class, omg it kicked my a$$!!! its such a great work out in a short amount of time though, I love it!
I have been really really concerned about my boyfriend lately...he really really needs to lose some weight. His dad was a diabetic, so he is pre-disposed to it already, and he eats like CRAP!!! He is a big candy eater, and probably eats about 500 calories in candy alone, every day!! I feel bad, because I dont want him to feel like I am wanting him to lose weight for superficial reasons, but I am honestly concerned about his health and well being. I know he is unhappy being overweight, but I think that hes just comfortable like that. He joined the gym with me last year, but never went, so I told him to cancel it rather than keeping it just because he feels bad, it was a waste of money. We are going on a cruise in May, so maybe that can be incentive for him to get moving and stop eating so much candy. I am just worried about his long term health, I want him to be around for our kids and most importantly, for ME!
I have been really really concerned about my boyfriend lately...he really really needs to lose some weight. His dad was a diabetic, so he is pre-disposed to it already, and he eats like CRAP!!! He is a big candy eater, and probably eats about 500 calories in candy alone, every day!! I feel bad, because I dont want him to feel like I am wanting him to lose weight for superficial reasons, but I am honestly concerned about his health and well being. I know he is unhappy being overweight, but I think that hes just comfortable like that. He joined the gym with me last year, but never went, so I told him to cancel it rather than keeping it just because he feels bad, it was a waste of money. We are going on a cruise in May, so maybe that can be incentive for him to get moving and stop eating so much candy. I am just worried about his long term health, I want him to be around for our kids and most importantly, for ME!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
So I made it!!!! I survived the first week of nursing school, and I am still alive! I feel really really overwhelmed, and keep questioning wether I am in the right place or not, but I know that once I fall into the routine, with studying and everything, that I will be fine. Today was a NERVE WRACKING day though, omg. We had to demonstrate our skills in front of our clinical instructor, and with a passing grade or we couldnt move on to do clinicals in the hospital. I had to do:
handwashing
isolation equipment
transfering a patient from bed to wheelchair
blood pressure
pulse
respirations
making an occupied bed
as simple as they sound, its SO scary to have the teacher watching your every move. I made it though, and actually got some good comments from her, so I was happy. Everyone in the nursing program has told me that this instructor is SO tough (Shara), but I picked her for my clinicals anyways because I know I will have to deal with her at some point, so its better now so I can get it over with. I think she is VERY nice, but that could change once we actually get into the hospital. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not there for her, I am there so I can get my degree, and that I just have to get through her to get there.
We actually have 5 days off, which is really nice. Monday is MLK day, so no class. I am going to read ahead as much as possible, so that I can feel more prepared when I am in class and understand what they are talking about more. They dont even like "ease" you into this program, I swear its like sink or swim. Its a little intimidating, but I know I just need to throw myself out there and be the best I can be, or I wont make it. I am going to be as involved as possible when we have labs and clinical, lets hope that approach works for me.
There is one lady in my clinical class that just makes me CRAZY....and I am stuck with her for the next EIGHT weeks. Doesnt sound like long, but it feels like it now.
I was pretty much UN focused on my workouts and eating this week...probably because I havent fallen into a "schedule" yet, so its been hard, but next week I am going to try my best to make time for me, and to avoid eating out as much as possible and bring my lunch when I can. I need to remember to bring snacks for the day so I dont eat a ton at dinner, and I need to bring WATER to drink in class.
thats all for now, back to studying!
handwashing
isolation equipment
transfering a patient from bed to wheelchair
blood pressure
pulse
respirations
making an occupied bed
as simple as they sound, its SO scary to have the teacher watching your every move. I made it though, and actually got some good comments from her, so I was happy. Everyone in the nursing program has told me that this instructor is SO tough (Shara), but I picked her for my clinicals anyways because I know I will have to deal with her at some point, so its better now so I can get it over with. I think she is VERY nice, but that could change once we actually get into the hospital. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not there for her, I am there so I can get my degree, and that I just have to get through her to get there.
We actually have 5 days off, which is really nice. Monday is MLK day, so no class. I am going to read ahead as much as possible, so that I can feel more prepared when I am in class and understand what they are talking about more. They dont even like "ease" you into this program, I swear its like sink or swim. Its a little intimidating, but I know I just need to throw myself out there and be the best I can be, or I wont make it. I am going to be as involved as possible when we have labs and clinical, lets hope that approach works for me.
There is one lady in my clinical class that just makes me CRAZY....and I am stuck with her for the next EIGHT weeks. Doesnt sound like long, but it feels like it now.
I was pretty much UN focused on my workouts and eating this week...probably because I havent fallen into a "schedule" yet, so its been hard, but next week I am going to try my best to make time for me, and to avoid eating out as much as possible and bring my lunch when I can. I need to remember to bring snacks for the day so I dont eat a ton at dinner, and I need to bring WATER to drink in class.
thats all for now, back to studying!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Today is the big day...
and I cant sleep a wink. Its windy outside, all the dogs in the neighborhood are barking up a storm, I keep trying to make sure I did everything I was supposed to do before school tomorrow (or now its today I guess since its passed midnight), and I just have all these feelings running through my mind. I was driving home from Michaels tonight, and he was so sweet, he was hugging me goodbye and he just had the sweetest tone in his voice and look in his eye, and he just said "I am SO proud of you baby" awww. So on my way home...I just kinda realized that sometimes I dont give myself enough credit, I know we are our own worst critics, but I think I need to give myself a little more credit than I do. So here is my go at why "I" am proud of me.
Things I have accomplished since high school:
-losing 50+ pounds and keeping it off
-holding down a job since I was 15 and a half
-graduating high school with a 3.8 GPA
-never having ANY debt
-paying my credit card off, in full, every month
-never driving my car after drinking
-never letting the influences of my friends change my goals in life (i'll explain more later)
-getting my pharmacy technician license
-getting my CNA license
-saving $7,500 to pay for cosmetic surgery
-finding someone that I can spend the rest of my life with who wants to spend the rest of their life with me too (that ones my favorite)
I was thinking of myself in high school compared to now. In high school, my friends were my entire life. I had a big, close knit group of friends (who of course gossiped like crazy about eachother, but thats what teenage girls do I guess) and I really dont talk to very many of them anymore. I was always the friend that everyone could call because I always listened, and never had really any drama of my own (growing up as the fat kid you really dont get asked out on too many dates). I guess I was kinda the ugly duckling of the group, and I remember always being SO jealous of them all, because they had the cutest clothes, or all the guys wanted them. Now that I think about it, I wasted way too much time being jealous in comparison to what my life is now. I am not trying to say I am better than anybody, I know that sometimes people make bad choices that can put them in places in their life they never intended to be, but I am just thankful, that even though all of these "friends" made these poor decisions, I never followed in their footsteps, which amazes me because I looked up to all of them all throughout school.
Its almost 1...school starts tomorrow, I need to attempt to get some sleep.
Thats all for now
Things I have accomplished since high school:
-losing 50+ pounds and keeping it off
-holding down a job since I was 15 and a half
-graduating high school with a 3.8 GPA
-never having ANY debt
-paying my credit card off, in full, every month
-never driving my car after drinking
-never letting the influences of my friends change my goals in life (i'll explain more later)
-getting my pharmacy technician license
-getting my CNA license
-saving $7,500 to pay for cosmetic surgery
-finding someone that I can spend the rest of my life with who wants to spend the rest of their life with me too (that ones my favorite)
I was thinking of myself in high school compared to now. In high school, my friends were my entire life. I had a big, close knit group of friends (who of course gossiped like crazy about eachother, but thats what teenage girls do I guess) and I really dont talk to very many of them anymore. I was always the friend that everyone could call because I always listened, and never had really any drama of my own (growing up as the fat kid you really dont get asked out on too many dates). I guess I was kinda the ugly duckling of the group, and I remember always being SO jealous of them all, because they had the cutest clothes, or all the guys wanted them. Now that I think about it, I wasted way too much time being jealous in comparison to what my life is now. I am not trying to say I am better than anybody, I know that sometimes people make bad choices that can put them in places in their life they never intended to be, but I am just thankful, that even though all of these "friends" made these poor decisions, I never followed in their footsteps, which amazes me because I looked up to all of them all throughout school.
Its almost 1...school starts tomorrow, I need to attempt to get some sleep.
Thats all for now
Saturday, January 07, 2006
So sad
I am typing in blue today, because I am just feeling blue. I cannot stop thinking about this 16 year old girl that died this week. She was in a car accident in Long Beach, on a day that it was pouring rain. Apparently she ran a red light, and couldnt slow down when she was going around a sharp curve, so she drove off the road, into the LA river, which was 7 feet deep with muddy water from the 3 inches of rain we had in two days, her car (which was an suv) fell into the river upside down, and the roof was crushed so badly that none of the doors were able to open. People who whitnessed the accident drove off the side of the road to try to get her out, but she was trapped. Eventually her car filled up with water, and she drowned. Sorry to be graphic, but thats what happened. The ironic thing of it, is that this girl went to the same school as my cousins, and they know her pretty well. Her funeral is today, that is why I am talking about it. It is just so sad that someone so young was taken from this world. I know that God does everything for a reason, but this is just one of the things that I am having a hard time coming to grips with. I just cant help but think, what if that was my sister, or what if it was me? Its just so sad how quickly and unexpectedly life can be taken from us.
On a lighter note, I have lost 5 pounds, yay! I think it must be all of that holiday food just finally out of my system, thank the Lord, because I am not about to go on our cruise in May looking like a cow. We are going on a 7 day cruise to the Carribean. First stop, Montego Bay, Jamaica, next up, Cayman Islands, Grand Cayman Island, and last is Cozumel, Mexico. I cant wait. Michaels mother was so SO generous to buy us both tickets last year, we are all going together, me, michael, his mom, his step dad, and his sister Nicole. We are SO excited!!! It will be such a nice vacation for me after my first semester of nursing school.
speaking of nursing school, monday is the big day! I am really excited, anxious, nervous, all in one. I e mailed my girlfriend Jill about how i was feeling about it (she just finished her first semester in the same nursing program), and she sent me this sweet e mail. I just love her! It was after we met up for Coffee so she could give me some "pointers" :o)
Hey Alex,You are so cute!! I have to tell you when I went home after coffee and was talking to my husband, I told him how impressed I was with you. Alex, you will be one of the best students in your class. I know what a hard worker you are and you are going to just excel in this program.
That was SO sweet and encouraging, it made me feel so much better. Especially since she is like a straight A student! I have so much reading to do, over 100 pages, to be read by monday. I am not working today like I normally would be, so I better get to studying!
Thats all for now
On a lighter note, I have lost 5 pounds, yay! I think it must be all of that holiday food just finally out of my system, thank the Lord, because I am not about to go on our cruise in May looking like a cow. We are going on a 7 day cruise to the Carribean. First stop, Montego Bay, Jamaica, next up, Cayman Islands, Grand Cayman Island, and last is Cozumel, Mexico. I cant wait. Michaels mother was so SO generous to buy us both tickets last year, we are all going together, me, michael, his mom, his step dad, and his sister Nicole. We are SO excited!!! It will be such a nice vacation for me after my first semester of nursing school.
speaking of nursing school, monday is the big day! I am really excited, anxious, nervous, all in one. I e mailed my girlfriend Jill about how i was feeling about it (she just finished her first semester in the same nursing program), and she sent me this sweet e mail. I just love her! It was after we met up for Coffee so she could give me some "pointers" :o)
Hey Alex,You are so cute!! I have to tell you when I went home after coffee and was talking to my husband, I told him how impressed I was with you. Alex, you will be one of the best students in your class. I know what a hard worker you are and you are going to just excel in this program.
That was SO sweet and encouraging, it made me feel so much better. Especially since she is like a straight A student! I have so much reading to do, over 100 pages, to be read by monday. I am not working today like I normally would be, so I better get to studying!
Thats all for now
Thursday, January 05, 2006
So overwhelmed
OMG! I have never been so overwhelmed in my entire life. So I have been in school now since I graduated high school, 5 years ago. I kinda just partied for a year, and then got serious about school. I knew I wanted to be a nurse since way back in the day, I just didnt know how much work it would take. It took me two years to do my undergraduate/pre-req classes, and then the freaking waiting list for the program at the school I wanted to go to was TWO YEARS!!! Two years, of just waiting on a list, working at my job, wasting time! ugh. So anyway, nursing school is officially starting on MONDAY!! I am like in shock, I cant believe it is finally here after all this waiting, it feels so un real. Today there was an orientation for all the new students, and it was SO scary. They gave us so much information in 4 hours, my head practically exploded. I feel so overwhelmed, I feel like I already behind (we have reading and reviewing to do before the first day of school, and I havent done it yet). When I got into my car after it was over, I just started to cry. On top of being emotional because its that time of the month, I just felt like I was doing the wrong thing, like I am not smart enough to make it through this program, like maybe I dont have the discipline and drive to do it, and maybe nursing isnt for me after all. I eventually snapped out of it, shoot I have worked SO hard and come so far, it would be such a waste to not just get it over with! Its only 2 years, and if I hate it, then with any luck I will just keep playing lotto til I win and live happily ever after, lol.
I KNOW in my heart I can do this, but I also know that its going to be VERY difficult, its going to take a lot of my time, its going to take away from the most important thing in my life up until now (my boyfriend Michael), its going to take away from scrapping, working out, my family, my friends, my godsons, etc...its just going to be a big adjustment for everyone...and I know its not for that long, but its just going to be tough.
Ok, enough whinning. On a lighter note (literally) I lost 2 pounds. woo!! I dont know how I did, I think I was just super bloated from the holidays and too much food, but it always feels good to see the scale go down instead of up!
Today I was shopping for shoes for school, and the girl that rang me out must have been, 17 at the oldest, and she had this cute little engagement ring on her finger, and she was like so proud of it...I cant help but feel SO jealous and wonder why that cant be ME?! I know I need to be patient, and I know its coming, but I wanted it yesterday!!! I already have it picked out and everything...all he has to do is BUY it (but I guess thats the toughest part, lol).
Its 10 pm...I have to be up tomorrow at 6 am...I have piles of books next to me that need to be read that I am pretending I cant see out of the corner of my eye, but I think its time to shut down this addicting lap top and START reading. I know I will regret it if I dont.
Thats all for now
I KNOW in my heart I can do this, but I also know that its going to be VERY difficult, its going to take a lot of my time, its going to take away from the most important thing in my life up until now (my boyfriend Michael), its going to take away from scrapping, working out, my family, my friends, my godsons, etc...its just going to be a big adjustment for everyone...and I know its not for that long, but its just going to be tough.
Ok, enough whinning. On a lighter note (literally) I lost 2 pounds. woo!! I dont know how I did, I think I was just super bloated from the holidays and too much food, but it always feels good to see the scale go down instead of up!
Today I was shopping for shoes for school, and the girl that rang me out must have been, 17 at the oldest, and she had this cute little engagement ring on her finger, and she was like so proud of it...I cant help but feel SO jealous and wonder why that cant be ME?! I know I need to be patient, and I know its coming, but I wanted it yesterday!!! I already have it picked out and everything...all he has to do is BUY it (but I guess thats the toughest part, lol).
Its 10 pm...I have to be up tomorrow at 6 am...I have piles of books next to me that need to be read that I am pretending I cant see out of the corner of my eye, but I think its time to shut down this addicting lap top and START reading. I know I will regret it if I dont.
Thats all for now
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