So overwhelmed

OMG! I have never been so overwhelmed in my entire life. So I have been in school now since I graduated high school, 5 years ago. I kinda just partied for a year, and then got serious about school. I knew I wanted to be a nurse since way back in the day, I just didnt know how much work it would take. It took me two years to do my undergraduate/pre-req classes, and then the freaking waiting list for the program at the school I wanted to go to was TWO YEARS!!! Two years, of just waiting on a list, working at my job, wasting time! ugh. So anyway, nursing school is officially starting on MONDAY!! I am like in shock, I cant believe it is finally here after all this waiting, it feels so un real. Today there was an orientation for all the new students, and it was SO scary. They gave us so much information in 4 hours, my head practically exploded. I feel so overwhelmed, I feel like I already behind (we have reading and reviewing to do before the first day of school, and I havent done it yet). When I got into my car after it was over, I just started to cry. On top of being emotional because its that time of the month, I just felt like I was doing the wrong thing, like I am not smart enough to make it through this program, like maybe I dont have the discipline and drive to do it, and maybe nursing isnt for me after all. I eventually snapped out of it, shoot I have worked SO hard and come so far, it would be such a waste to not just get it over with! Its only 2 years, and if I hate it, then with any luck I will just keep playing lotto til I win and live happily ever after, lol.

I KNOW in my heart I can do this, but I also know that its going to be VERY difficult, its going to take a lot of my time, its going to take away from the most important thing in my life up until now (my boyfriend Michael), its going to take away from scrapping, working out, my family, my friends, my godsons, etc...its just going to be a big adjustment for everyone...and I know its not for that long, but its just going to be tough.

Ok, enough whinning. On a lighter note (literally) I lost 2 pounds. woo!! I dont know how I did, I think I was just super bloated from the holidays and too much food, but it always feels good to see the scale go down instead of up!

Today I was shopping for shoes for school, and the girl that rang me out must have been, 17 at the oldest, and she had this cute little engagement ring on her finger, and she was like so proud of it...I cant help but feel SO jealous and wonder why that cant be ME?! I know I need to be patient, and I know its coming, but I wanted it yesterday!!! I already have it picked out and everything...all he has to do is BUY it (but I guess thats the toughest part, lol).

Its 10 pm...I have to be up tomorrow at 6 am...I have piles of books next to me that need to be read that I am pretending I cant see out of the corner of my eye, but I think its time to shut down this addicting lap top and START reading. I know I will regret it if I dont.

Thats all for now